Desperate For Free Trade Deals, New Zealand PM Proposes Selling Country To Trump After Inauguration Snub

WELLINGTON, NZ — New Zealand Prime Minister, in a bid to boost the nation's economy through international trade, has made an offer to incoming US President Trump, after not receiving an invitation to Trump's inauguration ceremony.

“It’s a shame he didn’t invite me,” said Luxon. “I know my government has been doing whatever Biden has asked for, but we will do whatever he asks for too. I tried to get John Key to setup a meet but John played too much golf with Obama, and that doesn’t help. So I think we should just become a state of America, which opens up free trade between the two nations. Anyway I’m off to the UAE to try and sell a few more kilos of meat.”

The proposal includes New Zealand's entire landmass, rights to the All Blacks to help build rugby in America, entire stock of sheep, and the indigenous people. “They can have Lord of The Rings too,” said Luxon.

Meanwhile, Trump has not yet responded but reportedly asked if this means he could finally rename the capital to 'Trump City' and fire the Mayor.

At publishing time, Luxon has also offered Trump one of his apartments in South Auckland that he’s selling, as a sweetener.