Democrats Say Deporting Illegal Rapists, Pedophiles, And Murderers Would Set America Back And Not Make It Great

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats in Congress have taken a stand against H.R. 30, the "Preventing Violence Against Women by Illegal Aliens Act," with 145 democrats voting against it.

Deporting criminals who've already shown a knack for criminal activities is just too much for the progressive side of the aisle. They argue that deporting criminals would set America back and won’t make it great.

Representative Jamie Raskin was vocal in his critique, suggesting that the bill is far-right extremism. "Deporting these individuals," Raskin argued, "would strip us of our progressive values. We need a degree of crime to feed the machine of congress, and keep us busy over here, or else, Trump will push to reduce the size of congress, and I lose my seat."

Nancy Mace wasn’t having it. "So, we're supposed to believe that keeping violent criminals in the country somehow makes America great? Are you retarded or what?"

At publishing time, the Democrats were seen handing out "Welcome Home" cards to recently released sex offenders, complete with a coupon for a free latte at Starbucks.