Democrats Fear Hegseth Will Lead A Christian Knights Crusade To Invade Greenland

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrat members of the Armed Services Committee questioned Secretary of Defense nominee Pete Hegseth, if he will create a Christian Knights Unit in the military to attack Greenland.

“Mr. Hegseth, you were not allowed to serve at Biden’s inauguration for your extremist tattoos that associate with christian knights who assembled all over Europe and invaded Constantinople,” asked Hawaii’s Senator Mazie Hirono. “Will you invade Greenland using Christian Knights?”

This revelation sucked the air out of the room, with all democrats finally connecting the dots, realising why Trump exactly why Trump picked Pete Hegseth. “You know Trump is smart. He doesn’t tip away his hand but this is all making sense now,” said Senator Elisabeth Warren.

Christian Knights began the first crusade in 1096 CE, when they assembled from all over Europe and moved toward Constantinople. The Byzantines were horrified to see hordes of Western Europeans knocking at their doors. The crusading obsession of the far right and Pete Hegseth is extremely concerning.

At publishing time, Trump confirmed he will be guarded by Christian Knights at his Inauguration.