US — Democrats nationwide erupted in glee popping champagne after President Donald J. Trump failed to post on Truth Social for a single day, declaring the 47th president finally dead.
The 24-hour social media drought convinced liberals that a string of assassination attempts were wholly unnecessary, as Trump had apparently worked himself to death.
“We did it. MAGA is gone,” Elizabeth Warren cheered with other democrats. “No need for snipers or ricin letters,” shouted AOC.
The frenzy began on August 29, when Trump, 79, went silent on Truth Social, skipping his daily roast of democrats.
Sources confirm the celebration stemmed from Trump’s brief absence from public view, which Democrats wildly exaggerated into a week-long vanishing act.
At publishing time, Democrats continue celebrating even after seeing Trump resurface playing golf, claiming that is not Trump but a replacement.