Democracy Finally Ends After Man Who Was A Threat To Democracy Becomes President

Washington D.C. — Democracy has officially come to an end in the United States after a man, previously labeled as the ultimate threat to democracy itself, has been sworn in as President.

The unnamed president, who critics had warned would dismantle the very fabric of democratic institutions with his every breath, has somehow managed to ascend to the highest office in the land. His inauguration was marked by an eerie calm, as if the nation was holding its breath, waiting for the inevitable collapse of democratic norms.

According to sources within the halls of power, or what's left of them, the new president's first act was to simply exist, which was apparently enough to trigger democracy's death knell. "He didn't even need to sign an executive order; his mere presence was enough," whispered one shocked senator, who has since taken to wearing black in mourning.

The streets of Washington, once bustling with the vibrancy of democratic debate, are now eerily silent, save for the occasional whisper of "I told you this would happen." Citizens, who had been warned about this day, are now seen wandering aimlessly, clutching their "Save Democracy" signs, wondering what to do next.

At publishing time, democrats are returning back to the UK to their ancestral colonies.