Comrade Chloe Swarbrick's Plan To Transform New Zealand Into People's Republic Of Aotearoa
Comrade Chloe Swarbrick unveiled her plan in an exclusive sit down with The Chimp Chronicles for transforming New Zealand into the People’s Republic of Aotearoa.
Drawing inspiration from the glory days of the Soviet Union, Swarbrick’s policies promise a utopia where the state knows best, and does it all.
Here are 7 ways she’ll make it happen:
Capital Flight? Nyet: Shut down Air New Zealand, and stop all flights from taking off so rich people are unable to escape with their wealth
Wealthy? Nyet: Turn wealthy people, including farmers, and high earners, into a “slave machine” that feeds everyone else including herself
Bank Transfer? Nyet: Banking systems will be shut down, and SWIFT payments will be blocked from transferring wealth overseas
New Zealand? Nyet: All references to “New Zealand” will be replaced by the “People’s Republic of Aotearoa,”
White People? Nyet: Say hello to South Africa 2.0 - no white people allowed to serve in any government role
Supermarkets? Nyet: Planet Earth will be declared as the only god to worship, and starvation will be implemented to save the planet from destruction via consumption. All supermarkets will be shut down
$433 million household income, Da: Every household will have a networth of $433 million that will only be accessible to Chloe and her crooked oligarchs to spend however they like
At publishing time, Chloe is reluctant to implement this plan because soviet communism systems hate gay people and usually hunt them down and erase them from the gene pool!