China Assures Warships Heading For New Zealand Are Just DEI Warships
BEIJING — The Chinese government issued a statement Friday assuring New Zealand that the fleet of warships steaming toward New Zealand are not a cause for alarm, as they are merely Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) warships—rendering them completely harmless.
"New Zealand has nothing to fear," said Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson Lin Jian during a press conference. "These vessels are staffed entirely by DEI hires, selected to fill quotas and attend sensitivity training. Before they make it on your shores, they will likely sink"
New Zealand officials initially raised concerns, but after witnessing their own DEI ship HMNZS Manawanui sink in style, Defense Minister Judith Collins have reduced the alarm level.
“These are DEI ships. They wouldn’t have a clue where the ‘autopilot’ switch is, let alone make it to New Zealand,” said Collins.
At publishing time, China’s warships have crossed into New Zealand waters, citing DEI pilots not knowing the difference between International and New Zealand waters.