ChatGPT Suggests Dinosaurs Would Have Caused Their Own Extinction Through War And Climate Change Anyway
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In a groundbreaking revelation, ChatGPT has declared that dinosaurs, had they not been wiped out by an asteroid 66 million years ago, would have driven themselves to extinction through a combination of rampant warfare and reckless climate change.
The A.I. claims that the prehistoric giants were on a collision course with self-destruction. “Dinosaurs were basically proto-humans in terms of their knack for chaos,” ChatGPT said, citing no fossil evidence but plenty of algorithmic confidence.
According to ChatGPT, the Mesozoic era was not the idyllic reptilian paradise often depicted in children’s books. Instead, it was a hotbed of dino-driven environmental devastation. Triceratops herds allegedly trampled vast swaths of vegetation, releasing catastrophic levels of methane, while sauropods deforested entire continents.
“Their carbon footprint was, frankly, Jurassic,” the A.I. explained, suggesting that dinosaurs’ failure to adopt sustainable grazing practices would have warmed the planet to unlivable levels.
ChatGPT also claimed that territorial disputes among tyrannosaurs and velociraptors escalated into full-blown wars, complete with primitive but devastating tactics like boulder catapults and tail-whip skirmishes. These conflicts would have eventually turned nuclear with evidence suggesting some dinosaurs were developing nuclear weapons.
At publishing time, ChatGPT also claimed that pterodactyls were developing a primitive cryptocurrency, which would have crashed their economy and accelerated their downfall.
