Cam Slater Recommends That Luxon Smoke Cigars For 2 Hours Everyday To Manifest 'Big Dick Energy'

AUCKLAND, NZ — Cam Slater from The Good Oil appeared on Adnan Belushi's podcast to analyse NZ's political climate. With Luxon's popularity sinking faster than a lead balloon, Slater offered a cure.

"Smoke cigars for 2 hours everyday," he advised. "That'll give Luxon the big dick energy he lacks. Trump's got it. Elon's got it. Luxon? Not so much."

Slater argued that cigars aren't just for puffing; they're ‘big dick energy’ wrapped in leaf. Imagine Luxon, not just governing but looking cool while doing it. Suddenly, charisma doesn't seem so far-fetched.

Political analysts are now debating if this is the dawn of a new political era or just another day in Slater's world. Meanwhile, cigar sales in NZ have spiked, with everyone wanting a piece of that big dick energy. Even Grant Robertson was seen smoking a cigar although we are unsure if he even has one.

Taxpayers Union has re-run the polls, confirming that if Luxon does start smoking cigars, he will be ahead in the polls. “Yes, that will definitely boost his ratings,” said Jordan Williams.

At publishing time, Luxon was seen scouting cigar shops, looking for the fattest cigar he can find.