Burberry Calls For Release Of Ambassador Tommy Robinson After Sales Plummet

SPONSORED BY FLYING SAUCER COFFEE

LONDON, UK — Luxury brand Burberry has taken a stand by calling for the release of its ambassador, Tommy Robinson. Robinson was arrested last year on trumped-up charges. With sales plummeting fast, Burberry has finally stepped into the political fray, demanding justice for their most controversial fan.

The fashion house, famed for its classic British style, has seen its share price tumble as if it were a Burberry scarf caught in a London wind.

Analysts speculate that without Robinson's public displays of Burberry-wearing bravado, the brand has lost its edge among a certain demographic that values both nationalism and high fashion. "Tommy was our secret weapon," said Burberry executive, "Without him, it's like we've lost our tartan touch."

Burberry's campaign for Robinson's release has taken various forms, from a limited edition "Free Tommy" scarf to a stance against free expression, showcasing their commitment to their ambassador.

At publishing time, Burberry announced plans to release a special edition "Jailbreak" collection, featuring shackles made from Burberry's signature fabric, with all proceeds going towards legal fees for Robinson's defense.