Billionaire Announces Plan To Buy NZME And Turn It Into A News Network

AUCKLAND, NZ — Immigrant billionaire James Grenon has unveiled plans to buy NZME, the publisher of the NZ Herald and Newstalk ZB, with a impossible mission: to turn it into an actual news network.

“With this takeover, we’re hacking the matrix built by George Soros—those fake news networks dressed up as legit but secretly pumping propaganda,” Grenon declared. “Soon, when you consume NZME content, you won’t have to double-check if it’s satire from The Chimp Chronicles!”