Bigfoot Concerned Deforestation Will Leave Less Trees To Hide Behind
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Bigfoot says deforestation in the Pacific Northwest is ruining his cover. Cryptozoologists interpret his grunts as a demand for more trees to keep him hidden.
"Fewer trees mean less privacy," explains Dr. Jane Goodfoot from the Institute for Mythical Creatures.
Locals have spotted Bigfoot holding a "Save the Trees, Save My Existence" sign, rallying environmentalists and fellow cryptids like the Loch Ness Monster and Chupacabra.
Conservationists warn that without trees, Bigfoot’s mystique could fade. "Hiding behind a pole isn’t the same," says activist Willow Green. Some think he might head to cities.
At publishing time, Bigfoot is launching a new reality TV show Keeping Up with Bigfoot.