Biden Pardons Osama Bin Laden After Learning He Disliked Trump When Scouting For Buildings In New York

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — After sparing 9/11 masterminds from the death penalty, Biden has posthumously pardoned Osama bin Laden.

"He really didn’t like Trump," said Biden. "Which made me think if he could see something in Trump that we missed. Maybe we should reconsider his actions."

According to declassified CIA intelligence, bin Laden was scouting for iconic targets in New York, and had studied Trump’s entire portfolio, concluding that none were suitable for his plans.

Biden also urged Congress to look into Trump and investigate him before his inauguration because Osama disliked Trump, and there must be a real reason that should stop Trump from being sworn in as President.

At publishing time, Biden has pardoned Lee Harvey Oswald.