Biden Pardons Anthony Fauci For Not Committing Any Crimes

Washington D.C. - President Joe Biden has issued a full pardon to Dr. Anthony Fauci for not committing any crimes whatsoever.

"Today, I, Joe Biden, have decided to exercise my executive clemency for Dr. Anthony Fauci, who, after a thorough investigation by my team, has been found not guilty of... well, anything, really."

When asked by reporters about the rationale behind pardoning someone for not breaking the law, Biden replied, "Look, if we can't celebrate the absence of crime, especially in Washington, what can we celebrate? Besides, I thought this would be a nice gesture."

Dr. Fauci, upon receiving the news, was reportedly seen in his lab, surrounded by new viruses that are attempting to leak the lab. "I'm honored,”

At publishing time, Trump confirmed he was not worried, because Fauci will leak another virus from a lab he funded anytime soon during his presidency.