Bernie Sanders Plans To Defeat Oligarchy With Psychedelic Drug Ayahuasca
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AUSTIN, TX — In a mind-bending episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, Bernie Sanders dropped his new grand plan to dismantle the billionaire class.
Sanders claimed the psychedelic drug would rewire capitalist brains and usher in an America that is free of oligarchs.
“Look, Joe, the top one percent own everything while the working class gets crumbs,” Sanders ranted. “With Ayahuasca, we can ensure every American brain is rewired from pursuing greed and capitalism. We will also force every billionaire to take the drug so we can plant the idea to get rid of their wealth.”
Rogan, puffing on a cigar and squinting skeptically, countered, “Bernie, what if they just hallucinate more greed, and want to become trillionaires instead?”
Sanders outlined his vision for government-funded psychedelic centers where citizens would undergo supervised Ayahuasca ceremonies, to deprogram capitalistic tendencies. “It’s not about getting high, Joe—it’s about bringing on a social revolution,” he insisted.
When Rogan asked how he will fund it, Sanders shrugged, “Tax the rich, obviously. Did you know that Elon spent $270 million to help Trump get elected?” To which Joe Rogan responded, “Did you know that George Soros helped raise $1.5 billion for Kamala? And what about you Bernie? RFK Jr. told me that you’re funded by Pharmaceuticals?”
At publishing time, Bernie also disclosed that he will work with Pfizer to produce the right dose of Ayahuasca that can be taken as a vaccine, to protect yourself against capitalism.