Before Women Invent Their Next Existential Threat, UK Parliament Announces Bill To Pay Them To Stay Muted

UK — The UK Parliament introduced the Hush Fund Act on Friday, a bill offering women monthly payments to refrain from public complaints about existential threats like trans people using their toilets.

The proposal follows the UK Supreme Court’s recent ruling that the legal definition of “woman” refers to biological sex, a decision celebrated by gender-critical campaigners like JK Rowling.

The bill aims to curb what supporters call exaggerated crises, citing the recent uproar over transgender rights. “They turned 5% of trans women into an existential threat,” Keir Starmer said. “Give it two years, they’ll find another.” Women who stay silent for a month would receive £500, with bonuses for avoiding social media.