Australian Parliament announced a new law that identifies all angry-looking white bald men as neo-nazis.
A new identity field will be created in all government systems to capture this new identity. All media organisations have also been notified to use this identity for stories featuring angry-looking white bald men.
“There is conclusive evidence to suggest that all angry-looking white male are neo-nazis,” said Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. “They are dangerous, and this new law protects the public from any harm.”
The government issued an emergency text message to all citizens, advising them to take necessary precautions when in the vicinity of an angry-looking white bald person, and to avoid making contact or engaging the individual in conversation.
At publishing time, an angry-looking white bald man, with a mob of angry-looking white bald men, was arrested for going on an anti-semitic rant during a protest.