Australia Confused Why Tyrannical Turban-Wearing Government Would Attack Them

Australia’s spy agency confirmed that Iran was behind the attacks on its Jewish community, and expressed confusion as to why they would do such a thing.

“We know that they are tyrannical as they chant ‘Death to America’ all day long, but our intelligence was confident that wearing turbans was a peaceful endeavours, and boy we were wrong,” said ASIO director-general Mike Burgess.

ASIO revealed at least two antisemitic attacks ordered by Ayatollah himself, straight from his bunker, using his pager.

The confusion has spread nation-wide as Australia held the view that the Jews were satan worshippers and Israel was the tyrannical government.

At publishing time, ASIO has revealed that Ayatollah is now chanting ‘Death to Australia’ from his bunker.