Auckland Mayor Claims Lazy Brown People Are Slowing Down City's Economy

AUCKLAND, NZ — Wayne Brown, during a late-night campaign event, declared that the city’s economic woes are due to lazy brown people not pulling their weight.

“Look, it’s simple math,” he said, gesturing to a whiteboard with a single stick figure labeled Brown Person. “These folks are spending too much time napping and not enough time being productive. They are on island-time.”

As local government elections get closer, Wayne Brown called on white people to get the economy going again.

At press time, a spokesperson from Summerset retirement village said Mayor Wayne Brown snuck out past his curfew, missed his anti-cranky medicine, and was picked up from a late-night event.