All Indians Suspended From X For 48 Hours After Causing A Spike In ‘Regrettable Minutes’

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X has announced a temporary suspension of all Indian users for 48 hours after causing an unprecedented spike in 'Regrettable Minutes' on the platform.

This new metric aims to decrease the amount of time users spend regretting their time online. Apparently, all Indians, for their relentless pursuit of American visas and jobs, has caused billions of regrettable minutes for many users worldwide.

“80% of users have experienced regrettable minutes on our platform the last 48 hours,” said X CEO Linda Yaccarino. “We have determined this has something to do with the Indians. As a result, there is a 48-hour stand down period for all accounts with Indian nationality.”

The Indian Coding Association in San Francisco is reporting a sharp decline in ‘coding lines’ coded by Indian coders in the Bay Area. “Hanging out on X is how Indian coders take breaks from coding. And now they can’t do that. Expect less lines of codes written in the next 48 hours.”

At publishing time, Blue Sky is reporting an unprecedented spike in new users from India.