All Eyes on LUNCHLY As Students Demand MrBeast Make Their School Lunches

WELLINGTON, NZ – Students have found their lunchtime messiah, and his name is Mr Beast. Many students are going hungry at school because their parents won’t feed them, and David Seymour serves them burnt plastic.

And so, they had no choice, but turn to their YouTube hero MrBeast.

It all kicked off when 11-year-old Ethan “The Lunchinator” Smith unveiled a LUNCHLY at lunch, holding a PRIME hydration drink like Sauron holding the One Ring. “This is what lunch is,” Ethan declared. “MrBeast knows what’s up—LUNCHLY’s got flavor, PRIME juice, and none of that burnt plastic in your meal. Only he can save our lunches!”

LUNCHLY has got kids around the world in a frenzy. There’s THE PIZZA, a pepperoni-packed slab, FIESTA NACHOS with queso ooze and chip crunch, and TURKEY STACK ‘EMS, a delicious turkey sandwich. All meals come with the kids favourite PRIME hydration drink. “I don’t even need my water bottle, I can stay hydrated with PRIME,” said Ethan as a crowd of kids cheered on as they gather around Ethan.

“He's so cool with his LUNCHLY. What a legend,” said one student. “NEK MINNIT,” said another. Every child is now demanding that their parents and state provide them with Mr. Beast’s LUNCHLY.

At publishing time, Prime Minister Luxon said “Fuck off. Go make a Marmite sandwich.”