Alien From Proxima Centauri Says Dr. Fauci Beamed Deadly Virus Signal, Decoded Virus Infected Entire Star Colony Except One

WASHINGTON, D.C. — New NASA administrator Jared Isaacman confirmed that he had received a message from an alien stating Dr. Fauci had signaled a deadly virus, which had infected the entire star colony except for the alien himself.

“Dear Planet Earth,” said Phil the alien, via a signal message sent to Earth. “We received a code from Dr. Fauci, and after decoding it, the entire population of our star colony was infected. They went from peace-loving people to hate-filled—starting wars and killing each other.”

The virus was reportedly beamed by Dr. Fauci in 1968 after he had developed it in his lab in New York, with the idea that it would be intercepted by alien species and would destroy their worlds.

“I’m the only one immune to this virus, and I’m fighting to save my world. All of us were connected to this one neural network, and now it seems that’s broken, with people adopting individuality, division, borders, race, and identity.”

At publishing time, President Trump is on his way to Proxima Centauri to restore peace.