Ahead Of A Peace Deal With Ukraine, Luxon Arrives In Russia To Announce $10 Billion Trade Deal With Putin

MOSCOW, RS – New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxon touched down in Moscow today to unveil a jaw-dropping $10 billion, five-year trade deal with Russia. Hailed as the “deal of the century” by Luxon himself, the agreement promises to flood New Zealand with enough cash to finally fix make New Zealand wealthy again.

“We can only get wealthy if we sell New Zealand products to the rest of the world,” said Luxon. “Now that the war is over, and turns out, Putin was not the bad guy, we have struck a deal. Russia is big country, and I’m sure they will appreciate us helping them out with uplifting some of the standards around steak and milk.”

Luxon, sporting a traditional Russian ushanka hat made from sustainably sourced Kiwi wool, strode confidently alongside President Vladimir Putin during a press conference at the Kremlin.