A Liberal's Guide To Haka: 10 Things You Can Protest With A Haka Dance
Haka, a warrior protest dance, can be performed whenever and wherever, if you feel that you have been wronged.
The Chimp Chronicles have compiled 10 things you can protest with a Haka:
Pineapple on pizza: If your friends order a pizza with pineapple on it, grab the pizza, rip it into pieces, and break into a haka
Starbucks getting your name wrong: If your Starbucks coffee is served with your name written incorrectly on the cup, throw the coffee across the room and break into a haka dance
Trump dance at Thanksgiving dinner: If your racist uncle pulls a Trump dance during Thanksgiving. Standup, pull your tongue out, and challenge him with a haka!
Can’t find your car keys: Start yelling at your kids while breaking into a haka
You see Joe Rogan pop up on Youtube: I know! I Know! He boils my blood too. Punch your TV and break into a Haka!
Elon Musk Tweet: Did he tweet again? for the 100th time? In one day? Perfect reason for a rage.. bend your knees and break into a haka
Spotted a Jew: Does a Jew boil your blood. No worries. Break into a haka and show them that you’re against genocide
Banned from using women’s toilet: You have a penis and you’ve been banned to use women’s toilet? You know what to do.
Neighbour is spreading misinformation: Your neighbour just downloaded the X app and he is now sharing conspiracy theories, poisoning the neighbourhood. Confront him with a haka! (protesting outside his home is legal)
Bitcoin hits $100k: And you thought it was a hustle and you’re angry for missing out. Look at yourself in the mirror and break into a haka!
There you go. If you there is one that I have missed, that would benefit others, post it in the comments below.