The UN has begun its 80th session in New York, and the most urgent item during this assembly is the recognition of new sovereign states. Here they are:
Gondor: Finally, the people of Middle-Earth can rest in peace!
Taiwan: Sorry China!
Palestine: Hamas has been appointed as the new government
Somaliland: Ilhan Omar is elected as the President, after being deported
Aotearoa: The indigenous land has been freed from white people
Inglewood: A town in Aotearoa (Taranaki) has been given its own sovereignty, after being ditched by the new nation for being the shittiest town in the entire country
New York: With Mamdani expected to be the new mayor, Trump has declared that New York is cut off from the U.S. and all millionaires will be relocated elsewhere. Enjoy your communist-run 7-Elevens.
Congrats to all the above new sovereign states.