7 Easy Steps For Making Butter At Home, Now That You Can't Afford It Anymore

SPONSORED BY FORGE SUPPLEMENTS

NZ — In a world where the cost of living has escalated to the point where even butter, that once humble staple of Kiwi pantries, has become a luxury, Chimp Satire Chronicles present to you a survival guide for 2025: Making Your Own Butter at Home.

Step 1: Take butter off your shopping list: It's Wednesday morning, and you reach for the butter to spread on your toast, only to find the jar empty. Panic sets in because, but at the supermarket, butter now costs as much as a small island off the coast of Auckland.

Step 2: Mourning the Loss of Affordable Butter: Take a moment to mourn. Butter was once the unsung hero of our kitchens, now relegated to the status of a once-a-month luxury. Remember the days when butter was not a financial decision?

Step 3: Gather Your Materials: You'll need heavy cream

Step 4: Shake, Rattle, and Roll: Pour the cream into your jar. Now, shake or mix until your arms feel like they've been through a marathon.

Step 5: Separate the Butter from the Buttermilk: Once you've got a lump of butter and a mess of buttermilk, drain off the liquid.

Step 6: Wash Your Butter: Rinse the butter under cold water until it's clear.

Step 7: Spread the Joy (and the Butter): Congratulations! You've just made butter at home.

At publishing time, Butter at home cost 2 cents to make.