10 Ways Luxon Is Getting Money Out Of Your Back Pocket
NZ — Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has introduced a series of new measures to grow the economy by emptying your back pocket.
“Let me level with you New Zealand. Here’s how we are gonna grow the economy. I take the money out your back pocket, give it a globalist, they will invest into.. let’s say.. climate change, and if they make any money, that money goes back into someone else’s back pocket.”
The Chimp Chronicles sat down with Christopher Luxon to figure out how exactly he was going to do that;
Tax on breathing: The air we consume will now come with a tax
Investing your superannuation: you only live once
Pothole levy: for damaging the roads
Carbon tax: for farting
Drags educating your children: Even if you don’t like this, you pay for it
Skip the queue at the hospital: pay extra if you want to feel special
T-shirt over suit: if you don’t, you will be taxed!
Haka tax: Protesting for no reason outside a library
Going to work: come let me show you my shiny “Matrix”
Criticising Luxon on X: Free speech is not free
At publishing time, Luxon was busy practising pulling your cash out of your back pocket without you realising it.
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