10 Shocking Big Pharma Lies You’re Probably Falling For
Trump’s announcement about reducing drug prices may surprise you. It might even make you feel that he’s attacking the very people we trust with our lives—scientists, doctors, and pharmaceutical companies, right?
Not so fast. The chimps at The Chimp Chronicles are here to enlighten you about the lies that Big Pharma wants you to believe:
All vaccines are 100% safe and foolproof: Totally not talking about that one from a while back. You know which.
Pills taste awful for a reason: a brilliant scheme to force us into swallowing their bitter tablets. Evil genius.
90% of unbiased doctors love this drug: No way they’re getting kickbacks. Never.
Limit vitamins to two daily: Big Pharma’s covering up that overdosing could make you live forever.
25-year-olds dropping from heart attacks? Totally fine: Especially if you’re an elite athlete. Nothing to see here.
Annual checkups are a must: Just a scam to push pills. Weekly ice baths and artisanal sourdough is all you need.
Lab rats die of natural deaths: Yep, nothing suspicious about that at all.
We’re working overtime to beat cancer: Sure, they threw in the towel ages ago.
Flu shots stop the flu: Haha, good one.
We’re definitely not overlords testing humans to depopulate and create obedient minions for our master: No way, Bill Gates is a saint.
Hopefully that’s sobered you up. People who claim to have our best interest not always have our best interest. The world is pretty scary out there so get that booster shot and stay safe!